Song of the Week: Squeeze Me Like A Lemon

Today is a good day. I have been patiently waiting for Squeeze Me Like A Lemon to get chosen for a while now, and you guys have made my dream come true. Obviously I love this song (how can you not?!), but I can't decide if my reason for loving it is the catchy chorus or the opening riff that gets stuck in your head long before you've even had a chance to learn the lyrics.

Have you ever had that happen when you've heard a new song for the first time? You end up with a few random notes stuck in your head, but without the lyrics it's impossible to look up the name so it just drives you crazy instead? Yeah, this is one of THOSE songs. It'll haunt your dreams until you wake up humming it in the middle of the night, and then when you do finally learn the lyrics, the cycle continues because they will also get stuck in your head. Long story short, you had better get comfortable with this song, because once you've heard it for the first time it's going to be staying with you for a while.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but in my spare time I like to go through the catalog and check out all of the other artists the Skinner Brothers have collaborated with over the years. For a moment, I got really excited because I thought JC Stormz was one that I had missed, but then I saw the tell-tale red bar under a few of his videos indicating that my bad memory and I had been there before. Not everyone has the privilege of solving mysteries that they themselves have also starred in on a regular basis, but at least it keeps things interesting. The important takeaway here is that I liked his music before, and I got to fall in love with it all over again last night thanks to songs like Role Model, and even his most recent release, Call You Back.

Not only does JC Stormz have a great voice, but his delivery is methodical and persistent, like water gradually wearing away at a stone. He doesn't come crashing through the gate throwing a bunch of information in your face like he has something to prove to you— his calm, even-toned delivery gives you the distinct impression that he is more like a controlled explosion. Similar to the difference you see in people who start yelling when they're mad, but you know they're really angry when they're NOT yelling.

I love his verse in Squeeze Me Like A Lemon as well, but I have to admit that his unique style of delivery in this case does make me laugh every time I listen to it. Especially the second half of his verse where he repeats the same thing a second time, but a little faster so it sounds a bit more like a run-on sentence.

You have to understand, I used to work at a psychiatric hospital. I have seen many things throughout the years, but one thing I am no stranger to is having random dudes come up to me claiming to be John Lennon and insisting that their rap career was meant to kick off when they were ten years old. My normal response in that situation would be something akin to “Sure you are, buddy! Does this juice taste like Thorazine to you?” but unfortunately if you try that with singers you get to hear what a police car sounds like from the inside. Come to find out.

Anti-psychotics aside, JC Stormz is definitely one of the more interesting artists I've explored after discovering him through a Skinner Brother collaboration. I mean, yeah—he's a brilliant lyricist, I just really wish he also offered a wide variety of vegan and gluten free desserts that could be shipped right to my doorstep. Oh wait, he... does?! According to his bio on YouTube, JC Stormz (aka: Josh Parker) is also the CEO of Veg and Vitality, a UK based company offering vegan and allergen-safe meal solutions. Bet you didn't see that one coming! Just look at it...

If they don't have desserts like that in hell, I'm coming back.

Anyway, I have seen the video for Squeeze Me Like A Lemon several times in the past, but it wasn't until I sat down to write this article that I started to notice all the subtle little nuances that went into making it. For instance, when I paused the video between scenes, I noticed a couple of flashes of text (in what looks like Zac's handwriting), including the one shown below that reads “May 7th, 1990”. This, of course, reminded me of the diary he had mentioned a while back that he intended to read on Patreon at some point.

Now, you know how I love my wild theories, so obviously the next logical conclusion that I came to was that he was probably splicing bits and pieces of that same diary into various music videos as some sort of quiet confession. Too quick for you to see with the naked eye, but Tyler Durdenesque enough that you could probably piece it together if you took the time to dissect the video in slow motion like a crazy person. But who knows, with Zac's approximate age I think it's pretty unlikely that he was around in 1990 at all, let alone drafting a toddler manifesto, so I'm probably way off base here.

Which does kind of beg the question(s)—who's handwriting is it then? And what is the significance of May 7^th, 1990? Did you also happen to catch the “Error 1962: No operating system found” message? Tell me you had a Lenovo without telling me... But don't worry— one of the first troubleshooting options the internet had to offer for that particular error code was forcing a reboot by pressing “Ctr+Alt+Delete”. How's that for a bit of foreshadowing?

I can't be the only one that thinks that this video is a cross between some kind of demented citrus-hating crush porn (don't Google that) and a killer advertisement for Minuteman lemonade—which the internet has just informed me is not commonly sold in the UK (don't worry, you're not missing much with that one). But seriously, what did the lemons do to you?! They've been crushed, kicked, and run over by a car all in the name of art. I will say this though, the bright pops of yellow really stand out against the black and white background, so their sacrifice was not in vain. I just hope no one involved in the filming process had any paper cuts that day.

I was also happy to see Zac's fuzzy jacket with the haunted pockets making an appearance in this video. If you haven't watched Kian's soul leave his body after putting his hand in there on Patreon yet, you don't know what you're missing. I will also say that seeing the same jacket in the wild now hits different after witnessing those horrors unfold.

We gotta find a way out of here, I don't care if it takes ten years

I mean, the video looks like it was filmed inside a glass elevator, so I doubt it'll take that long to get out. Probably just wait for the doors to open and the problem will sort itself out. But on the off chance that it doesn't, at least they've come prepared by setting up a card table to pass the time and bringing an entire drink cart with them for the occasion.

The Hendricks gin was a nice touch— I must admit that I have always wanted to try it but haven't gotten around to it yet. Come to think of it, I'm not sure that I've ever had any brand of gin, but I'm a sucker for whimsical marketing so Hendricks has been on my radar for some time now. One of you will have to let me know how it is so I can try it next time I go to the liquor store (or get trapped in an elevator).

Apparently I can go on about this all day, so that's enough of my rambling for now. If you haven't listened to Squeeze Me Like A Lemon yet, you better go do that right now. Don't make me quote the song for a little extra motivation...

Come on, you fuckers!

☘️🖤